home

6am january 2 Philippines
ten days of cool breeze and sunshine. the days have gone by slowly and it's felt like a proper holiday but it's also more than that because i'm home.

my flight home had no hitches. it was a bit strange and lonely to be dragging my suitcase out of campus onto the bus and through the tube station. it was almost sad but in a nice way. I'm thinking of a word, I'm thinking of a word-- Nevermind, all I can say is that it wasn't hard at all. I've always been anxious about flying on my own because I was afraid I'd look stupid, or that I'd miss my plane or lose my luggage. But Christmas at home has been my biggest christmas gift because it was all perfect. I'd never felt that way on a plane before. The moment it took off I gasped and smiled. It was like air was whooshing through me, clearing cobwebs. My first flight alone.

[On the flight to Manila from Shiphol airport. No hitches, no stopping me now except a bomb or a few terrorists. The only thing--I hope they don't lose my suitcase. I feel like I'm in Manila already. Half the passengers are Pinoy (and they were making funny tactless comments and cracking silly jokes like only Pinoys can. The stewardesses were going crazy with how kulit we were.) I've got a good seat. Lot's of leg room.]

i escaped NAIA in record time and jp was waiting for me outside. we had a great ride home. and when we got home, it was beautiful. my mom had a wall in the living room knocked down and we had a great view of the pond and the waterfall. what floored me was this feeling of space. you wouldn't think that i had lived here all my life. to be able to stretch out and walk about barefoot in shorts and a skimpy top is freedom. no winter here. no worrying about the wash or the laundry or the cooking. and everyone i love is here.