i do want to be married to him. i just wish we could skip the wedding.

i love weddings. i love going to weddings but the thought of having my own is driving me nuts. just thinking abt the guest list is enough to put me off for life. then the cost and the pressure of throwing a 'good' party. lord help me why can't we just elope? why does benoit have to be such a girl? why god why? *le sigh, le calm*

in other news, i have an engagement ring. it's a really simple design. a band of white gold bound on either side with two thinner bands of yellow gold. the centre band is carved so that it catches the light and sparkles. no stones.

i'll have to admit that i was a bit caught up in the whole de beers 'a diamond is forever' marketing ploy and i had my heart set on this lovely georg jensen design. (will post a picture if i can find it.) but the reality of it is that an engagement ring is soemthing HE chooses to tell you how he feels about you. and that makes it special.

as this thing becomes more real, i'm getting more nervous, and more nauseaus. ahhhhh!